cont: Don’t Want to Get Hurt? Here’s the Clues/Rules in Playersville!
Even though Pete presents his genuine self from the beginning, Lisa misses every red flag. In each encounter with someone, what behavior of theirs we accept, tells the person how they may treat us. Through her passive behavior, she gave him permission to be cavalier with her.
What Did Lisa Miss?
If you caught all of the red flags, you are immune to players. If you missed them, you have not learned how a healthy man would treat you. Should only one or two slip under your radar, but then you are aware, you will displace him before he does any damage.
How Many Red Flags Did You Miss?
- Pete takes her to an uber expensive restaurant. On a first date, healthy men are more casual. Maybe not a flag, but a question mark.
- He suddenly needs her to pay for dinner and drinks. Healthy men have a credit card or cash. Be alert!
- He refers to her as a girlfriend. Healthy men do not usually establish faux intimacy on a first date.
- After promising to stop at his apartment to pay the money back, he drives right past his block. Healthy men take care of their obligations.
- He does not call as promised. Observe what a man does, not what he says.
- He is “cutely” vague about their next date. A healthy man, interested in you, makes definite plans.
- His invitation to Billy Joel is last minute. Someone cancelled on him. It is fine to go, but be aware that you are not at all exclusive.
- He promises dinner the next weekend. Usually, that means Saturday. He texts on Sunday for the beach. You are the B team, at least for now.
- He has not even committed to a Friday or Saturday night yet. He is sending the right signals, if he does not want exclusivity. A player knows it is premature for sex but when he is holding all the cards, he takes his chances.
- He makes it clear the next date leads to the bedroom. Healthy men respect a woman’s pace.
- Players engage people they can use. Healthy men do not use women.
We Teach People How To Treat Us.
Lisa is afraid to reference the money. By not bringing it up, she lets Pete know she is a doormat!
So far, their meetings have all been on short notice, and Lisa has agreed. He is not afraid she will be busy, so this will continue.
Lisa was relieved when he finally called, even though it was several days late. She overlooked it.
She tells him it is too soon to be intimate, yet, spends two hours in the car with him.
MEMORIZE/ Remember these:
Players do not play fair.
- They do not feel what you feel.
- They do not respond as you would.
- They do not take their word as seriously as you do.
- They get bored very quickly.
- Their needs come first; it is rarely about your needs.
- They are in for the game, the chase. It is “Playersville.”
Lisa cannot tame a player and neither can you! The first time a man says he will do something, and does not, be alert. If it happens twice, he is testing you, so walk away. If he leaves you waiting in the rain for two hours, do not expect him to make it to the birth of your first child, should he ever decide to marry.